Cognitive Dissonance

Guy at coffee condiment bar does reach-around for the cream, looks me dead in the eye and says, smiling, “So what you have to realize, is it’s not all about the metrics. Other things, like the human factor, matter just as much.” I quell the urge to be offended (since when have metrics been more important to me than the human factor? Never!), and perform a quick memory search.

Do I know this attractive young Indian gentleman with the man-bun? And is it a man-bun or is he merely an un-turbaned Sikh?

A thousand questions crowd in as he adds sugar, smiling, and says conversationally:

“I could definitely help you with that…if you’d like to mesh gears over dinner tonight.”

I fight the urge to pull age-rank on him and prepare to say “Look buddy, I don’t know what your trip is but we aren’t meshing anything anywhere…” when he does another reach-around for a napkin, pulls an earpiece out of his ear and pressing the mute, says “So sorry, didn’t mean to involve you in my conversation. Modern life. What can you do?”

Er. Let it go to voicemail and call back from the cafe bathroom like everybody else?

Feeling like a walking anachronism in a place too speeded-up for its own good…

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